My Blog

After completing my studies in SAS, I was offered a place in UTP. Well, at first I was a little bit disappointed since I was hoping that I could further my studies in overseas, but I guess it’s the better choice for me. Anyway it was an excellent decision that I’ve made looking at the achievement I acquired during my studies in UTP. Only Allah knows what would have happen to me if I was to further my studies in overseas. Hehhehehhe…

Campus life is always an exciting moment for everyone who have the chance to get in. It is the moment that you’ll remember for your whole life. So to anybody who will and is experiencing their campus life, just make sure that you make it an interesting memory for you to bring along for the rest of your life. Once you’ve got to work, you will have more responsibility, lesser leisure time and you’ll start to feel more energy drain out from you.

As early as first year, I’ve opened up my first chapter of love. However it did not turn out very good. Most probably caused there are too many differences between us. And I guess the way I approach her is also not acceptable kot. There is also this one girl who shows her interest in me, but I guess I’m not interested with her, so I just rejected her. The way she approaches, scares me. I’m not saying that I don’t like the idea of having a girl making the first move but there are better ways of how a girl should tell their feeling to a man they like. It doesn’t have to be so straight forward and it shouldn’t be so secret. Some might say that you should try to see whether she suits you or not first but in reality at first glance we will know that whether the girl or the boy has the possibility of becoming our couple. And I guess I don’t like the idea of giving hope that you are not sure you can fulfill it or not. Unless I’m certain with my decision, I’m not going to go on with the relationship.

Second, third and fourth year, I was really busy occupying myself with my cocuriculum activities that I forgot about having relationship with girl. And I guess it was the moment that I enjoyed very much. Learning about how to run a programme from the beginning until the execution, managing a committee, managing an organization, communicating with people and lots and lots of other skills that I would never imagine I could have acquired if I only sit in my room, playing with the computer. I don’t really like politics but I’m certain that it is a must in our life. Politics can bring harmonies if people use it correctly but unfortunately nowadays it is likely to be use for destruction. I would never have thought that even in politics as small as campus election, people would try to do dirty job just to make sure they’ll get the position they wanted. What’s making thing worse if people who did this dirty thing are hiding themselves within a very good organization they involved. If things like this happen not only they will bring shame to themselves but they will also bring bad reputation to the organization they lead. In short, “Matlamat tidak pernah menghalalkan cara”.

When I was doing my practical, once again I tried to approach this one girl that I’ve been looking at for sometime. So, I beranikan diri phoned her, ask her out and always keep in touch. I’m not a direct person so I don’t really have the courage to declare my feelings toward her. So I just keep in silent and tried to show that I cared for her with all those things we’ve done together. Unfortunately, again things did not turn out as I expected it would be. Just when I want to confess, some bad things happen and we just get on with life like nothing has happen before. I feel really frustrated looking at the time I’ve spent and those things that I’ve done but I guess that is what it takes in this kind of relationship. There is no guarantee that you can be a successful person. If it is a success, then it is good for you but if you fail just takes it as something that will make you more mature in handling this type of relationship.

So I go on with my life and just before I completed my studies, the feelings come again. I don’t really know when or where this new relation that I’ve built will go but what I’m sure is I really like her. We don’t know what will happen in the future but I believe that what we do now will determine what will happen to us in the future. I hope that things would work out between me and her. May Allah bless us.

Anyway, I have always realized from long time ago that true love is …… To be continued in the last chapter of “In Search for True Love” – (4) – “the answer”

I guess nobody read my blog but surprisingly some also give comments. thanx to that. It just means that you are concern about me, I guess so. Well… where did I stop. After primary school and going to some boarding school.

Why do I say that it was a disapointment when I got admitted to all boys school? I’m not saying that there’s nothing good about all boy school,but in my opinion who has undergone my whole 5 years of secondary school in one of the most famous all boy boarding school (SAS), I just have to say that it has brought me a lot of pain memories that I just wanna forget.

First, of course, just as I mention before, We will miss the period where girls undergoes rapid transformation. Be it physically and more important mentally. This is the time when a girl has difficulty in adapting to the situation but yet an interesting experience. I believe that at this point of time we should just let a boy and a girl have a normal relation between them. Some might say that it would be better to seperate them but I totally disagree with that. Teenage is the time when a kid will have their transition time into becoming a man or woman. This is when they will develop their mind and perceive thing as they see it happen in their surrounding. This developing mind will later turn them into being a good woman or good man. If we were to restrict the relation between them, when they sometimes in the future are exposed into this kind of relationship,  it might not turn very good. I must say that this thing might not be true to everybody who enter all boy school or all girl school, but I guess we would have better result if we were to have mix school. We can still produce excellent student like we have in all boy or girls school with the programme we develop and plus they will have the necessary knowledge they need to know in order for them to practise it in real life.

Whats making thing worse is the abnormal relation that one might have in the all boy or girl school. Some might say that things like this is not happening but only people who have been there knows. Sometimes it can leave a real pain memory and when you try to remove it from your mind you just cant. Again I’m not saying that everybody will turn into being gay or lesbian but the possibilities are there. Instead of doing something that has a bad possibilities why dont we just leave that and do things normally. No need to seperate the girls and the boys. just let them have the normal relation like they always have. Just normal relation, that’s all…. 

p/s: I dont think that everybody will agree with me but well its just my opinion, right. And about love is not that I’m not aware of things call soulmate or jodoh or anything like that but what I’m trying to bring here is the definition of love from what I’ve perceive from my experience. If you say love is only about jodoh or soulmate then I am totally disagree with you. We have so many type’s of love in this world and loving a woman you called soulmate is just a portion of what love can mean. And I guess loving a soulmate is far from what I called as a true love. Well, just wait till the end of the chapter. thats all…..

Women….
I don’t really know where to start but I’m pretty damn sure what I want to talk about. Well, we’ve been involved with women since we were given birth to this world. Moms, of course.. I certainly love my mom very much but for others I don’t know but I hope they do. Love from mom is definitely something different from other types of love. My grandma used to say to me that love from mom is purely love. Actually I have longed realized about this thing. Through my own experience… My bro used to do a lot of bad things to my mom, but its surprising to see but yet to be expected is the way my mom reacted to all those things my bro has done. She never given up hope for my bro and alhamdulillah finally my bro understood that. After what I’ve gone through my life for the past 22 years, I am definitely sure that I would never find such love like that. It is so holy that I would never ever think that I could ever find one like that anymore.

As long I could remember, I only know the word love when I was in standard 6. But it pretty fucked up definition then, I think. I was so young and my mind was not really matured to come out with the true definition of love. Anyway I guess its the same thing for her. At that time, she is probably one of the “hot stuffz” in my school maybe because she is cute. At that time I was thinking that if I ever get to walk with her, I will feel very proud of myself. For her I think, I’m also not a bad person to walk with when she knew I am the prefect vice president. See, what a fucked up definition of love.

Anyway, the story ends just like that. We used to hang out together but I never did say or declare anything to her. After completing the primary school, I was offered to one of the best boarding school in Malaysia. And what a disappointment when I only know then that the school I was admitted to is a boy school. I dont think there’s anything to tell about those 5 years I’m in the boy’s school. As far as I can remember I only get to have my social life with girls when I am out from the school or when there is any occasion in my school. What I can summarize is that I never get to know girls pretty much at the point of time, they are growing. I believe that the secondary school level is the time where we can see a lot of change in a girls life. And somehow I feel disappinted I miss that chances. Anyway, times goes by where
everything cannot be turn back. I go on with my life in search for the true definition of love.

to be continued…..

huhuhuhuh…

lately I’ve been hearing stories about washing machine that can no longer be used in utp. well, I dont really know the reason why the management take the action to restrict the usage of washing machine but I can hear rumours said it was for cutting the cost. Can u believe it???? just for cutting the cost. If we make an analysis of what is the thing that make the electricity goes higher and higher its probably because of the usage of computer. normally 24 hours of operation. with a large amount of electricity is used, I believed that computers will be the highest contributor for the usage of electricity.

Think about it again, I believe that nearly every student in UTP owns a computer. that is about 5000 computers running for 24 hours in the whole UTP. Whearas for washing machine usually each apartment only has 1 washing machine. let say 1 block has 12 washing machine considering each apartment has one, then for 3 block we are going to have only 36 washing machine running in the whole UTP. Just imagine the ratio that we are facing here. 36 to 5000. Can u believe it??? I really don’t know how did they make the analysis. Did they just decide it just because the washing machine is bigger than the computer and decide that the washing machine used a lot of electricity. I think they are only fools who think out of their butt brain.

let us make a simple calculation here.

normally in utp each student have computer with woofer. Usually computer usage is about 450W and woofer ranging from 1000W to 2000W depending on the quality of the audio. let us take an average of 2000W. let say the average usage of computer for each student in utp is only 12 hours.

2000W x 12 hours x 5000 =   120MWh/day!!!!!!! can u imagine that huhuhuhuhu.

normally for a washing machine, the power usage is only about 300W( my washing machine la). Normal usage let say 12 hours too.

300W x 12hours x 36 =   129.6KW!!!!!

can u imagine that. How big is the difference in power usage. the ratio of washing machine usage over computer + woofer usage is less than 1%. In addition to that we just take the average usage for a student to used their computer is about 12 hours whereas in reality we do have students that did not off their computer for the whole day. just think about this me friends.

Let say we can ask each student to off their computers for 1 hour a day then we can save electricity equal to

2000W x 1h x 5000w = 10MWh/day.

can u imagine how big the amount of electricity that we can save. just for 1 hour equal to 10MW. I dont know how they are going to impose the regulation. Probably they can make a campaign or what  so ever to make that work. In any case, they should be rationale in every decision that are made. Thats all. Dont just make hasty decision. In another words, dont think out of their butt brains!!!!

p/s: Numbers used in this page may not exactly be the right figure but just taking the fact from the author’s knowledge. If any mistake is done please correct me. hehheheh.